“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
– Buddha
We live in a society where self – love is an alien concept. For now. Valentine’s Day just came and went and the couples celebrated among us and the singles looked on half longingly, half grudgingly. Valentine’s Day comes with a great deal of advice on how to cope with the single life and how to make oneself a better companion, how to get a spouse, a partner and all the likes. The idea that someone might willingly want to be single is not something people are very willing to grasp.
The notion that a person can be happy by themselves is rarely acknowledged or spoken about. Not everyone needs a romantic companion. A lot of us have very fulfilling relationships with our families and friends and we give and take more than our share of love and happiness with them. Not everyone is desperately single or lonely.
We need to reinforce the idea that we are enough by ourselves
When it comes to loneliness, it is plausible and possible to feel lonely even when you are in a healthy, fulfilling relationship or even when surrounded with people. And, the reverse is also just as true. One can feel content and secure without a romantic relationship too. At the end of the day, all of this boils down to what kind of a person one is. If the person is secure with their own selves, they won’t lose themselves or their worth in the relationship of its lack thereof.
We need to change our outlook on relationships. We have all come to view coupledom and companionship as the final destination and the single life is just a stop along the way that we are stuck on. Our self – worth should never rely on someone else’s validation or the fact that we are single. We need to begin to love ourselves and accept that a relationship will happen when it has to. Our self worth, in the meanwhile, is by no means connected or attached to whether or not we have a partner or not.
Relationship is not the only end goal in life
Let us not be conditioned by the thinking that marriage or a relationship is an end goal. Let us be content and satisfied with our own selves and not look for validation in a relationship. Because, that is a terribly wrong reason to be in a relationship and is detrimental to the partner and the relationship too. We are our own person and let us love ourselves for that. Yes, we need love in our lives and yes, love might be all we need, as popular movies go to say. But, have we ever thought that they might be talking about self – love? Self – love is one of the most important things in life. All along we were made to think that people who love themselves are egoistical or arrogant, but that is an entirely different ball game. Self – love is necessary to sustain ourselves and maintain positivity in our relationships, ventures and in life in general. It is what will push us to grow and be a better human being.
End Note
Let us accept that relationships will happen when they have to, or when we are mentally and emotionally mature enough to sustain them. Being single is never the last option. It is not like people are single due the lack of relationships. Being single and self – love are intertwined. Sometimes, people enter into relationships in a hurry or as a rebound or just because they are unable to be by themselves. Such kind of relationships are doomed from the beginning. We, as a society, need to promote self – love, which will only facilitate our relationships and maturity and will aid us when it comes to loneliness.
