- I’m reading a book on Anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down.
- I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks,
I am Outstanding.
- The News read, ‘Man in boxers leads police on Brief Chase’.
- I changed my iPod name to Titanic.
It’s syncing now.
- I tried to catch some fog.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
- I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop any time.
- How does Moses make his tea?
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I’d never met herbivore.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type A blood,
but it was a type-O.
- Why were the Indians here first?
They had reservations.
- I didn’t like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me.
- Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her Pupils?
- When you get a bladder infection, Urine Trouble.
- What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?