- Whoever invented the “Knock Knock Jokes”
should get a Nobel (no-bell) Prize. - If you ever get cold, stand in a corner for a bit.
They’re usually around 90 degrees. - I entered ten puns to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
- Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?
Turkey because it is always stuffed. - I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from construction zones,
but then I went home and all the signs were there. - Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says “I hope you know how to drive this thing.”
- Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist use the bathroom?
Because the p is silent - In my opinion, Orion’s Belt is just a waist of space.
- Where do sick ships go?
The dock - What’s the tallest building in the world?
A library, because they have the most stories. - Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s okey, he woke up. - A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff.
BA-DUMM-TSS - Why didn’t anyone react when the king farted?
It was a noble gas. - If trees could kill you, they wood.
- What do you call a nose without a body?
Nobody knows. - What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea. - 22 ants were playing football in a saucer. One ant said to another one,
“We’ll have to play better tomorrow. We’re playing in the cup!” - What is the most popular fish in the ocean?
A star fish - What is brown and sticky?
A stick. - Why doesn’t the Sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees. - I don’t find green bananas very appealing.
- Don’t believe atoms – they make up everything.
- Did you hear about the race between the two silk worms?
It ended in a tie. - Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?
He’d stop at nothing to avoid them. - Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
- What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea. - What did one plate say to another ?
Dinner’s on me - What do you call security outside Samsung store ?
Guardians of galaxy - What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos - PMS should be called OVARY-ACTING
- What do you call a dinosaurs with extensive vocabulary ?
Thesaurus - What does food surf on ?
Micro waves - What do you call a bee that lives in America ?
USB - Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long ?
Because it would be a foot - You should learn sign language It’s very handy
- My friend’s bakery burned down last night.
Now his business is toast - The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense - A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.
Sadly, he lost his case. - A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a drink.
The bartender says “for you, no charge” - Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Best 40 Puns (Part 7)
