Best 40 Puns

Best 40 Puns (Part 7)

  1. Whoever invented the “Knock Knock Jokes”
    should get a Nobel (no-bell) Prize.
  2. If you ever get cold, stand in a corner for a bit.
    They’re usually around 90 degrees.
  3. I entered ten puns to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
  4. Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?
    Turkey because it is always stuffed.
  5. I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from construction zones,
    but then I went home and all the signs were there.
  6. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says “I hope you know how to drive this thing.”
  7. Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist use the bathroom?
    Because the p is silent
  8. In my opinion, Orion’s Belt is just a waist of space.
  9. Where do sick ships go?
    The dock
  10. What’s the tallest building in the world?
    A library, because they have the most stories.
  11. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
    It’s okey, he woke up.
  12. A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff.
  13. Why didn’t anyone react when the king farted?
    It was a noble gas.
  14. If trees could kill you, they wood.
  15. What do you call a nose without a body?
    Nobody knows.
  16. What did the beach say as the tide came in?
    Long time, no sea.
  17. 22 ants were playing football in a saucer. One ant said to another one,
    “We’ll have to play better tomorrow. We’re playing in the cup!”
  18. What is the most popular fish in the ocean?
    A star fish
  19. What is brown and sticky?
    A stick.
  20. Why doesn’t the Sun go to college?
    Because it has a million degrees.
  21. I don’t find green bananas very appealing.
  22. Don’t believe atoms – they make up everything.
  23. Did you hear about the race between the two silk worms?
    It ended in a tie.
  24. Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?
    He’d stop at nothing to avoid them.
  25. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
  26. What did the beach say as the tide came in?
    Long time, no sea.
  27. What did one plate say to another ?
    Dinner’s on me
  28. What do you call security outside Samsung store ?
    Guardians of galaxy
  29. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
  30. PMS should be called OVARY-ACTING
  31. What do you call a dinosaurs with extensive vocabulary ?
  32. What does food surf on ?
    Micro waves
  33. What do you call a bee that lives in America ?
  34. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long ?
    Because it would be a foot
  35. You should learn sign language It’s very handy
  36. My friend’s bakery burned down last night.
    Now his business is toast
  37. The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
    It was tense
  38. A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage.
    Sadly, he lost his case.
  39. A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a drink.
    The bartender says “for you, no charge
  40. Just burned 2,000 calories.
    That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.